2008: The craziest year I've ever experienced. It was the year of many heartbreaks and mistakes. Everything had a twist or a turn to it. I for one, experienced it all. Now it's 2009, much has changed and yet..I still feel like something is missing. Like a next day's hangover, everything is getting to me and it feels as if I'm in an opposition with my past. The dilemma: confusion and curiousity... Honestly, I can't seem to understand a guy's mentality. It's either a yes or a no...a never or a forever, two extremes that never seems to have balance. I'm not trying to say that all guys are this way, only the guys that I've been with.

Number one: Yes. I do talk to my exes...but does that mean that I'm allowing myself to do a 180 and be with them again? No. Although I would give out flattering compliments, don't take it the wrong way and say I want them back. Nuh uh. Not how it goes. If I wanted you, I would've mentioned it. I'm not CONTRADICTING myself either. The bottom line is, I don't like having a chip on my shoulder or having a feeling of resentment towards a person or name.

Number two: It's true to think before you speak and think before you act. I don't know how many times "he" made promises to me and then threw me under the bus. Boy, what a ride he was. I wish he knew how victimized I felt at the time when he confessed and admitted to his infidelity. So many nights I couldn't eat and sleep, tossing and turning, thinking what he possibly could be doing. I mean...how would you feel if you have to find out your boyfriend or girlfriend is having sex or was nearly having sex with someone else behind your back? It was tough for me because I let him into my family and I thought that would encourage our relationship. I gave plenty of chances and still did I not see a difference. I knew what was next..he called the shots and broke my heart. I love him...but not as much as I did before.

Number three: The best thing to do is to take a deep breath and let it go.

"Every happening is a learning experience and every learning experience is a preparation for life."
By yours truly, Cindy Dethsy